Addressing My Sexual Health

*Doc, you are more than welcome to read this post.*

I finally got in for a pap and pelvic today. I tried, desperately begging, to get an appointment late last week, knowing that my cycle was due to start on Thursday this week and hoping to give myself sufficient cushion against an unexpected early flow.

However, they absolutely could NOT get me in last week, no matter how much I begged and pleaded. So, I got up at 4:00 this morning to discover, because that's how the universe works, that my cycle had in fact started two days early. Joy. That had the potential to interfere with my pap smear. Great.

Having gotten through the intake and had my vitals taken by the nurse, I changed into a gown and hopped up on the table. The doctor came in and asked me all the standard health questions. I explained the sexual health concerns that had brought me into the office. Because I am now sexually active, she asked about my choice of birth control. Condoms. I then explained that once Doc and I are both confirmed to be STD free, we'll dispense with condoms entirely.

Noting my age and some particular health choices, my doctor asked, "Have you ever considered children?"

Immediately I teared up. "My whole life," I explained, "I always thought I'd have children. But, you know, I started to get older and then I was 28, 29, 30.... I started to think that it might not happen, because I hadn't met anyone I wanted to spend my life with, let alone have children with. And then, I turned 33, and sure I knew I had a few more years, but I was less attached to the idea, because now it's really looking more likely that it won't happen. Then, I met this amazing guy, and yes it's very new, and I have no idea where it will go or if it will last, but, you know, it's different...I mean, not having children because life didn't work out that way versus intentionally choosing a path on which children are not a possibility."

My doctor handed me a tissue and apologized for asking. The primary concern was my age - while many Ob-Gyns are comfortable with women in their 40s having children, fertility declines and risks increase. 35-38 is the cut-off I have in mind for absolute latest age for childbearing. My doctor agrees that this is, generally speaking, an appropriate health choice.

Then, my doctor performed a breast exam before I lay back on the exam table and tucked my heels into the stirrups, a sheet over my legs.

The nurse came in and the exam began. Speculum in, swabs prepared, the doctor asked how I was doing. "It's uncomfortable," I explained. Then, the doctor did something and I was hit by a wave of nausea and an excruciatingly painful pinching sensation. I gasped and told my doctor how painful it was.

"Discomfort is common," my doctor explained, "but you really should not be experiencing pain at this level." She also confirmed that the pain I was experiencing came when she touched my cervix.

Everything looks healthy. Everything feels healthy. Still, being abundantly cautious, my doctor recommended a pelvic ultrasound, just to double-check. Once we get the results of that, we can discuss options for addressing my coital pain and post-coital incapacitation.

Given that the pain only happens in certain positions, if it comes to it, I'm okay with highly choreographed sex with Doc. Because highly choreographed sex with Doc is still sex with DOC and it's phenomenal!

It may be time to visit my local book store, see what they have for sex lit, and attempt some new positions. I continue to look forward to exploring new things and having a LOT of fun with Doc.